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Yesterday I followed my dear mother to her last resting-place. My master was
standing by thegarden door. Hasshe loved me as I have loved her, silently,
deeply, passionately?
Now I wish I could die, for I shall never be so happy
again.
Why then did she come of herself, uncalled, untempted? Yes, I am going
to try war, it will give bread or death. They have lived for a couple of years
in a house down on thebeach. I could neither speak nor stir from the spot. When
I went in through the door my heart poundedin me almost as on the day we fought
the Swede.
The trees in the garden have taken on a lovely light greencolor, and
everybody looks kind.
Now and then a shot rang out, echoing downthrough the
valley.
I too shall try my luck and eat my bread among strangers. I wonder what
they are doing now at Thiele!
Now its quietas a monastery; the new master
doesnt care about the chase.
Miss Sophie sometimes amused herself by raillery
at herexpense, and this she had taken note of.
The plains are leveland wide;
the hills are few, small, and gently rounded. Lord my God, what has become of
these years?
Now its quietas a monastery; the new master doesnt care about the
chase. On that distressful day I was enjoying a walk in our beautiful
garden.
Let me recall in my memory those douce moments!
Martin, he said, have
you seen anysnipes? Dont you think I might smash you like atoadstool, my dear
Niels?
Sometimes she speaks to me as if I were a beggar, sometimesas if I were
her equal. I told him who she was, and hishorror was as great as my
sorrow.
What wretchednessand misery have I not seen with these my eyes!
When he
had filledhis pipe, he was going to light it, but the tinder wouldnt catch
fire. My head is full of all the strange things I have seen. I could neither
speak nor stir from the spot. Silent andsolitary, the gamekeeper goes out, and
quietly he comes home. When I smellhis breath reeking with brandy, I feel as if
someone were offering mepoison to drink.
The sun found me in the same place;I
shivered with cold, trembled like an aspen leaf.
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