Finally he died quite suddenly, of a cerebral
haemorrhage. It ought to be on our coat of arms instead of the lionand the
unicorn.
You had to be very careful; she was quite capable
ofsneaking upstairs and catching you in the act.
Finally, however, it was The Adventures ofSherlock
Holmes that he took from the mantelpiece. But he grasped now what wasthe matter with
them. For several days his mother lay at deaths door. He applied a match; a dull
yellow flame creptunwillingly round the wick. There was a crack on the ceiling
thatresembled the map of Australia. But the other was with anEnglish paper, the
Primrose Quarterly. Gordon thought it all out, in the naive selfish manner of a
boy.
He pulled a few grimy sheets towards him, spread
themout, and looked at them.
They saw everything in terms of good
jobs.
The awful, mechanical emptiness of it appalled him.
Thetypes he saw all round him, especially the older men, made himsquirm. Granpa
Comstock was one of those people who even from the graveexert a powerful
influence.
More than half of them went unmarried to their
graves. It was queer how furtively you had to live in Mrs Wisbeachs house. Nothing
accomplished, nothing done, has earned anights repose. Coming to her house, they
were,she felt, at least partially hers. How can you be anythingbut lonely on two
quid a week?
Finally there was none that satisfied him. The
Mental Homes of England, how chock-a-blockthey stand! The Comstocks, as Gordon knew
them, were a peculiarly dull, shabby,dead-alive, ineffectual family. It
wasnoticeable even then that they had lost all impulse to reproducethemselves. And
in loneliness no decent book wasever written.
Gordon thought it all out, in the naive selfish
manner of a boy. Symphony Concert, andthen perhaps a spot of licit sexual
intercourse if his wife feelsin the mood!
If you had gone to the frontdoor and collected your
own letters she would have resented itbitterly. And his room was more cold
andsqualid than even a lodging-house bedroom has any right to be.
But her nature wassimple and affectionate. Half
unwillingly, he shoved his chair up to thetable. The first effect of all this was to
give him a crawling reverencefor money. Finally, with a little impatient grunt, the
letters wouldbe shoved under your door.
How can you be anythingbut lonely on two quid a
week? I gave her a stickof our Sexapeal Naturetint last night.
How light-heartedly he had begun it,two years
ago!
Even at sixteen she had old maid written all over
her.
From now on he would breathe free air, free of the
money-stink.
He hadnot even thought of looking for another job.