And Julia, he knew, felt his failure far more than
she felt theloss of her savings.
Gordons wages were not raised for themoment, but
the firm had their eye on him. Somehow, sometime, God knewhow or when, he was going
to break free of it. His uncles and aunts werealready talking dismally about getting
Gordon settled in life. From his earliest childhood Gordons relatives had depressed
himhorribly. Gordon thought it all out, in the naive selfish manner of a
boy.
And it is above all derelict spinsters of the
middle-classes who keep them going.
None of them had the vaguest idea what he
meant.
It was a way of hittingback at his poverty and his
loneliness. It ought to be on our coat of arms instead of the lionand the unicorn.
Gordons wages were raised by ten shillings aweek.
It was Julia andMrs Comstock who did most of the
managing. He pulled a few grimy sheets towards him, spread themout, and looked at
them.
Shewas thinner than ever, though healthy enough,
and there was grey inher hair. Writing lies to tickle the money out of foolspockets!
But here thehabitual Comstock folly about money stepped in. Coming to her house,
they were,she felt, at least partially hers. The first effect of all this was to
give him a crawling reverencefor money.
It had never really progressed, it had simply
fallen apartinto a series of fragments. He haddeclared war on money; but secretly,
of course.
He could not even bear to lookat them any
longer.
There was a crack on the ceiling thatresembled the
map of Australia. Gordons wages were not raised for themoment, but the firm had
their eye on him. Tosettle down, to Make Good, to sell your soul for a villa and
anaspidistra!
Gordon started on the job with secret
loathing.
You werea made man once you had had a poem in it.
He carried about with him an atmosphere of failure,worry, and boredom.
It was a way of hittingback at his poverty and his
loneliness. For six months he was working with Mr Clew. It was too early to go to
bed; at least, he was not inthe mood for it.
He still despised and repudiated the
money-code.
It was four whole days since shehad written. He
liked studying their slavish keep-your-job mentality. All of them,of course, were
hopeless fools about money. The aspidistra became asort of symbol for Gordon after
that. It was asecret between the two women, carefully kept from Gordon.