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[AlcoveBook-users] Pooh-Bah's Adult Humour Vol # 1 Issue # 4

From: The Grand Pooh-Bah Of Humour
Subject: [AlcoveBook-users] Pooh-Bah's Adult Humour Vol # 1 Issue # 4
Date: Tue, 15 Apr 2003 09:11:30 -0700

Ó¿Ó<----------The Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour ---------->Ó¿Ó
<---------------------Pooh-Bah's Adult Humour-------------------->

Formerly known as Purehumour...Pooh-Bah's Adult Humour is
sent by request ONLY.  If you wish to unsubscribe from this list
please see the instructions at the bottom of every mailing.

What a weekend for Canada...could it get any better than this?  
Mike Weir became the first Canadian to win a Master's Tournament
in golf and took home a green jacket from Augusta.  Randy Ferbey
(also from Canada) won the World Curling Championship in Winnipeg
Manitoba.  And if that wasn't enough...Paul Tracey won his third race
in a row to start the racing season ... something than has not been
done before!  Now as a Canadian that made me feel pretty good...
but not as good as Friday night ... nothing could ever top that for
me ... you see on Friday night we had a Super 7 lottery draw up
here in the "frozen tundra" ... and Friday's jackpot had reached 
a massive (and record-breaking) THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS!  So
of course I bet the farm on the lottery in the hopes that my seven
numbers would come up and I would win the THIRTY MILLION
DOLLARS grand prize.  We all sat around the TV...waiting anxiously
for the winning numbers to be announced....we watched as first
we got one, then two, then three, and yes we even got four numbers...
we got five, and six and believe it or not....we actually matched on
all seven numbers ... we had just become multi-millionaires in the 
space of a few minutes!  Life would be so different now ...those
little money worries would be no more ... I can now do things that
I never thought possible before ... get a new vehicle, travel the world,
give money to complete ...what a nice feeling to 
not have to worry about things anymore!  Oh how sweet it is!

But then reality set in and I realized that I was checking last week's
ticket...back to work we go!  ;)  Congrats to the rest of the winning
Canucks...and those of you in Ontario who really did get my share
of Super 7.  But most of all this week...lets give a huge high five to
the marines in Iraq who helped to bring home the seven POWs!  It
was really nice to wake up on Sunday morning to news like that...and
now as it seems that Saddam is no longer someone to be concerned
about...lets hope that peace will reign.

Today's issue includes contributions by: SunAmy, Di Ann, Tara, Ishy,
Terri, DA Funk, Fresno, Marina, Greg.

If you want to see your name here...send your jokes to:
<a href=" mailto:address@hidden ">Jokes</a>

Lets start with a quickie:

I just got word that Saddam has killed both of his sons....
He caught them drinking Bush Beer...

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Whats in a name:

1. IACOCCA (the former Chrysler  President/CEO)stands
for I  Am  Chairman  Of  Chrysler  Corporation  America

coincidence?.......... try these! 

2. Bush (the American President)  Beat  Up  Saddam  Hussein! 
3. Clinton (remember him?)  Call  Lewinsky,  I  Need  The  Oral  Now 

However, no one can beat this latest casualty in bad naming 
Osama (WHO doesn't know him)  Oh  Shit,  American  Missiles  Again!

Ó¿Ó----------------------TODAY IN HISTORY-----------------------Ó¿Ó

**New** Have YOUR birthday listed...Join the Birthday
Club by visiting:
<a href=" ">Birthday Club</a>

If today is your share it with:

1950 Amy Wright Chicago IL, actress (Inside Moves, Accidental Tourist) 
1951 Hansel Cuba, Spanish personality 
1951 Marsha S Ivins Baltimore MD, astronaut (STS 32, 46, 62, 81) 
1951 Heloise II columnist (Heloise's Helpful Hints) 
1951 John L Phillips Fort Belvoir VA, PhD/astronaut 
1952 Sam McMurray actor (Tracey Ullman) 
1954 Emmanuel México City México, Spanish singer 
1955 Barbara Barrow LPGA golfer 
1955 Enith Salle Brigitha Netherlands, 100 meter/200 meter swimmer 
1956 Michael Cooper NBA star (Los Angeles Lakers) 
1956 Gregory J Harbaugh Cleveland OH, astronaut (STS 39, 54, 71, 82) 
1957 Evelyn Ashford Shreveport LA, 100 meter runner (Olympics-4 gold-1976, 84) 
1958 John Bracewell New Zealand cricketer (premiere spinner of 80's) 
1958 Matt Reid rock keyboardist (Berlin-Takes Your Breathe Away) 
1959 Emma Thompson Paddington London England, actress (Henry V, Howards End, 
1959 Kevin Lowe Lachute, NHL defenseman (New York Rangers) 
1960 Marvin Clyde Goodwin New Orleans LA, murderer (FBI Most Wanted List) 
1960 Philip Belgian prince/husband of princess Paola 
1961 Lynne Austin Plant City FL, playmate (July 1986) 
1961 Tiina Lillak Finland, javelin thrower (Olympics-silver-1984) 
1963 Manoj Prabhakar cricketer (Indian opening batsman & opening bowler) 
1963 Teresa Wentzel DeWitt Fort Bragg NC, double trap (Olympics-1996) 
1964 Lydie Denier St Nazaire France, actress (General Hospital, Blood Relation) 
1964 Nadeem Abbasi cricketer (three Tests for Pakistan vs India 1989) 
1965 Anthony Miller NFL wide receiver (Denver Broncos, Dallas Cowboys) 
1965 Kevin Stevens Brockton, NHL left wing (Los Angeles Kings) 
1965 Mark Dennis NFL tackle (Carolina Panthers, Green Bay Packers) 
1965 Michele Redman Zanesville OH, LPGA golfer (1995 Star Bank-3rd) 
1965 Soichi Noguchi Yokohama Japan, astronaut 
1966 Andrei Olhovskiy Moscow Russia, tennis pro 
1966 Graeme Clark bassist (Wet Wet Wet-Angel Eyes, Love is All Around) 
1966 Samantha [Karen] Fox East End London England, singer (Touch Me, I Wanna 
Have Some Fun) 
1967 Dara Torres Beverly Hills CA, US Olympic swimmer (Olympics-gold-84) 
1967 Lance Zeno NFL/WLAF corner (Rams, Scottish Claymores) 
1967 Mark Mortimer actor (Nick Hudson-Another World) 
1967 Suzy Green Detroit MI, LPGA golfer (1995 Fieldcrest Cannon-26th) 
1968 Billy Brewer Fort Worth TX, pitcher (New York Yankees) 
1968 Stacey Williams Philadelphia PA, model (SI Swimsuit 1996) 
1969 Chris Smith Indianapolis IN, Nike golfer (1993 British Columbia Open-8th) 
1969 Jeromy Burnitz Westminster CA, outfielder (Cleveland Indians) 
1969 Michael Jones NFL linebacker (Oakland Raiders, St Louis Rams) 
1969 Phillippi Sparks NFL cornerback (New York Giants) 

.....and on this day in history:

1951 Michael Gorsira is 1st person in charge of Curaçao 
1952 1st B-52 prototype test flight 
1952 Franklin National Bank issues 1st bank credit card 
1952 Stanley Cup Detroit Red Wings sweep Montréal Canadiens in 4 games 
1952 US performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site 
1953 Malans National Party wins South African elections 
1953 WHP TV channel 21 in Harrisburg PA (CBS) begins broadcasting 
1954 Orioles 1st game in Baltimore; beat White Sox 3-1 
1954 Yankees dedicate a plaque to Edward Barrow 
1954 KARK TV channel 4 in Little Rock AR (NBC) begins broadcasting 
1954 WHO TV channel 13 in Des Moines IA (NBC) begins broadcasting 
1955 Ray Kroc starts the McDonald's chain of fast food restaurants (Illinois) 
1955 US performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site 
1956 Marlene Bauer wins LPGA Babe Didrikson-Zaharias Golf Open 
1957 KTVI TV channel 2 in Saint Louis MO (ABC) begins broadcasting 
1957 Saturday mail delivery restored after Congress givs Post Office $41 
1958 10th Emmy Awards Gunsmoke, Robert Young & Jane Wyatt win 
1958 1st baseball game in California, San Francisco Giants beat Los Angeles 
Dodgers, 8-0 
1959 Fidel Castro begins US goodwill tour 
1959 US Secretary of State John Foster Dulles resigns 
1960 Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC), organizes at Shaw 
1961 "Music Man" closes at Majestic Theater NYC after 1375 performances 
1962 US national debt above $300,000,000,000 
1963 "Sophie" opens at Winter Garden Theater NYC for 8 performances 
1964 Chesapeake Bay Bridge opens (Bridge-Tunnel measures 17.6 miles (28.4 km) 
and is considered the world's largest bridge-tunnel complex) 
1964 Ian Smith becomes premier of Rhodesia 
1965 NFL changes penalty flag from white to bright gold 
1965 James Baldwin's "Amen Corner", premieres in NYC 
1966 The Rolling Stones release "Aftermath" 
1966 KHET TV channel 11 in Honolulu HI (PBS) begins broadcasting 
1967 "Wait A Minim!" closes at John Golden Theater NYC after 457 performances 
1968 Houston Astros beat New York Mets, 1-0, in 24 innings 
1969 North Korea shoots at US airplane above Japanese sea 


A German tourist walked into a McDonald's in New York City and ordered a 
beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald's actually does 
serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him sneers, "They don't 
serve beer here, you moron!"

The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but then turns to the New Yorker 
with a surprised look, and begins to chuckle.

"And what's so funny?" the New Yorker demands.

"Oh, nothing really, I just realized that you come here for the food."

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