[DotGNU]Out of list - Useless edits...

[John]

Obviously my entreaties for a bit of time to have a professional writer
examine the press release were ignored. I thought I'd forward on ME
Tyler's efforts before releasing them to the list. Since the press
release was already released, the only purpose this one might serve is
as:

a) a model for future releases
b) a contact within the journalist community for the editing of future
releases.

See attached.

John Le'Brecage

Dear DotGNU Developers,

John asked me to revise your press release. In my professional
opinion, the original had several deficiencies. First, it was wordy
and overly formal. Most press releases are this way because those who
write them aren't very good writers and don't know any better.
Second, there was no logical flow. The release jumped from one idea
to the next. The quotes didn't always support what the PR talked
about and, as an outsider, I had absolutely no clue who it was
speaking to or what it was trying to accomplish.

Here's what I did:

I simplified the language, especially in the quotes and made sure
that each sentence supported the last. I had to make an assumption of
who the target audience of the PR was. I chose to target potential
developers who might join the project. A different target will
require a different press release.

If you are asking "who the hell is this?"

I am a professional technical journalist. I've written for
NewsFactor.com, Contract Professional Magazine and a variety of other
online and print publications both technical and non-technical. I
write press releases, promotional material, web site copy, and
technical and user documentation. I am a winner of the 2001 Golden
Pen Award and a member of the National Writers Union and the National
Association of Women Writers. I am a former software developer.

Please note that I should be bylined if the PR runs without
substantiative changes. This will also validate the quotes since you
will not be quoting "the guys who wrote the press release."

I hope the press release fulfills your goals.

Sincerely,
Mary E Tyler
<address@hidden>

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
PRELIMINARY VERSION - NOT AUTHORIZED FOR RELEASE (The above line will
eventually be changed to "FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE")

dotGNU vs .NET: FREE SOFTWARE MOBILIZES TO PREVENT MICROSOFT INTERNET MONOPOLY

Washington DC, USA - July 11, 2001 - FreeDevelopers announces the
DotGNU project, a Free Software alternative to Microsoft.NET and
calls all interested developers to contribute.

Free Software developers, concerned about e-commerce and Internet
freedom, started DotGNU <http://dotgnu.org> in response to
Microsoft's Passport. Passport stores user's personal information and
credit card numbers in a central location where merchants can access
it, streamlining e-commerce processes. It sounds a great deal like,
"Trust me. Give me your wallet. When you need it, I'll give it back
to you."

Consumers are rightfully concerned about what Microsoft might do with
their data. Companies regularly sell their customer lists, including
credit card numbers.  How well is that credit card number protected
anyway? Can Microsoft prevent a government, intent on restricting
civil liberties, from snooping on all e-commerce transactions? Can
Microsoft stop a well-funded man-in-the-middle attack, bent on
intercepting confidential data? Could a Microsoft monopoly on
Internet authentication force the consumer to use their other
software?  According to the dotGNU developers, it all comes down to
choice, security and trust.

CHOICE: DotGNU achieves the same convenience and preserves the
fundamental right of the business owner to make the best choice for
his business. Norbert Bollow, a Switzerland-based business coach and
dotGNU contributor, said "I want my clients to be free to run their
businesses, to make money and their own choices.  If a third party
like Microsoft dictates a particular software, it can be anything
from a minor annoyance to a serious hindrance to business success and
profits."

The GNU project <http://www.gnu.org> created a complete operating
system as a free alternative to Microsoft Windows. DotGNU competes
with Microsoft's ".Net initiative" and "Hailstorm" products. Tony
Stanco, founder of FreeDevelopers, calls DotGNU, "a very important
strategic project for free software.This is the battleground for the
next few years." But is it foolish to think that free software can
fight the Microsoft behemoth?

"It's natural to have doubts about the implications of this project,
since the aim is to counter Microsoft," said Barry Fitzgerald, a
DotGNU developer. "I, too, had doubts at first.  DotGNU is not simply
a Free Software version of .NET--DotGNU is a suite of projects
designed to enhance the capabilities of the Free Software
infrastructure.  Each project has value as part of DotGNU and as a
stand-alone product. Microsoft has their technologies. Users should
have a choice."

SECURITY: The structure of DotGNU respects the user's privacy and the
sensitive nature of their personal information. David Sugar, CTO of
FreeDevelopers said "A central location, as in Passport, has no
technological advantage. DotGNU uses a decentralized approach." No
single company, server or entity controls authorization. There will
be no single target to hack. Moreover, DotGNU uses encryption to keep
user data secure and hidden.

TRUST: Developers, what do you trust? The closed, proprietary system
of a court declared monopolist? Or the open-source, nothing-to-hide
alternative? The credit card company has your number. Your bank
already knows about your bank account. You know your home address.
Who will abuse that sensitive data, the companies you already trust,
or the monopolist with everything to gain?

CALL TO ACTION: Open invitation to developers and other interested
persons, join the dotGNU project. Sign the Declaration of Software
Freedom  at <http://freedevelopers.net/freedomdec/>. General
discussion takes place at
<http://dotgnu.org/mailman/listinfo/developers/>. System design goes
on at <http://dotgnu.org/mailman/listinfo/arch/>. The fast-track list
for the authentication browser plug-in is at
<http://dotgnu.org/mailman/listinfo/auth/>.

About DotGNU and the GNU system:

DotGNU, endorsed by the Free Software Foundation, is part of the GNU
system. DotGNU is a GNU project initiated and supported by
FreeDevelopers.

About FreeDevelopers:

FreeDevelopers <http://freedevelopers.net> is a self-regulatory
organization of free software developers from around the world.  It
currently has over 900
developers from about 50 countries. FreeDevelopers is headquartered in
Washington DC, USA.  FreeDevelopers-India is located in Trivandrum, India.

FreeDevelopers is a software development company, but it is very
different from traditional, "corporate" software companies:
FreeDevelopers has a "The Community is the Company" structure, and all
the software they develop is licensed under the GNU General Public
License (GNU GPL).  The GNU GPL provides the users of the programs
with many rights.  These rights include the freedom to modify the
program and the freedom to redistribute the program.  If a person is
not a programmer, they may choose to hire someone to make the changes
for them.  Computer programs where the users are given these freedom
rights are called Free Software
<http://www.gnu.org/philosophy/philosophy.html#AboutFreeSoftware>.
So far much excellent Free Software has been developed by volunteers
working together informally over the Internet, for example most of the
very successful GNU/Linux operating system has been developed in this
way.  The company FreeDevelopers has been started with the goal to
create a commercial structure that will allow Free Software developers
to get paid for the work they do.

About GNU:

GNU is a Free Software Unix-like operating system.  Development of GNU
began in 1984.

GNU/Linux is the integrated combination of the GNU operating system with
the kernel, Linux, written by Linus Torvalds in 1991.  The various
versions of GNU/Linux have an estimated 20 million users.

Some people call the GNU/Linux system "Linux", but this misnomer leads
to confusion (people cannot tell whether you mean the whole system or
the kernel, one part), and spreads an inaccurate picture of how, when
and where the system was developed.  Making a consistent distinction
between GNU/Linux, the whole operating system, and Linux, the kernel, is
the best way to clear up the confusion.

About the Free Software Foundation:

The Free Software Foundation, founded in 1985, is dedicated to promoting
computer users' right to use, study, copy, modify, and redistribute
computer programs.  The FSF promotes the development and use of free (as
in freedom) software---particularly the GNU operating system and its
GNU/Linux variants---and free documentation for free software.  The FSF
also helps to spread awareness of the ethical and political issues of
freedom in the use of software.  Their web site, located at
<http://www.gnu.org>, is an important source of information about
GNU/Linux. They are headquartered in Boston, MA, USA.

Media Contacts:

USA:          Tony Stanco <address@hidden>
               David Sugar <address@hidden>
India:        address@hidden
               address@hidden
Switzerland:  address@hidden
Australia:    address@hidden