Re: Support RMS

[Aaron Wolf]

Luke, I appreciate your mention of the CRNHQ stuff. I have not seen that
exact material before but many other things like it. I agree
wholeheartedly that this sort of recognition of victim mentality is
important.

Another framing is to say that we can have a TO-ME attitude (victim
consciousness) or a BY-ME (creator consciousness) or yet more higher
consciousness perspectives like THROUGH-ME (going with the flow and not
making it about ourselves and our egos).

All that said, I don't think you have enough knowledge of Deb and what
she is saying to diagnose her state here. One principle worth
remembering is to "eat your projections", if you see someone else having
an issue (e.g. victim consciousness), it's a prompt to check if you are
doing that and to work on making sure to avoid it yourself.

When giving advice to others, it helps to ask questions, to get curious,
to use language like, "I wonder if you might be having a victim mindset
here. Are you suggesting that you feel wronged and want others to take
action to resolve your tensions?" (that's a rough first quick suggested
language, far from ideal)

I should eat my own ideas and use questions myself. Are you imagining
that Deb's emphasis on her own experience is designed or effectively
setting her in a victim role?

Partly because I know Deb, my own interpretation is that she does not
feel like a victim at all. I suspect she's done her due diligence
processing her own thoughtful take-responsibility approach to her own
situation. I think she's sharing her perspective here for the sake of
telling others about problems she sees that affect others in our
movement and that have the consequence of losing valuable members who
leave the movement or do not join.

I have had a decent number of interactions with RMS, and none of them
particularly bothered me personally. So, I'm not from any sort of
victim-mentality when I suggest the concerns are real and shouldn't be
minimized.

I think it's a simple matter. RMS has pros and cons in his effect on the
movement. Do the pros outweigh the cons? Maybe they do for participation
of RMS more than leadership in a Board role? I was happy to hear him
*speak* at LibrePlanet, I like hearing his thoughts. What should we do
to be as objective as we can at evaluating these questions? I suggest
one step is to take seriously the *input* from various sources whether
or not they are in some victim-consciousness (though we could take that
into account).

Again, I think the victim-mentality issues are widespread, rampant,
these days. And probably even in a case like Deb's, they aren't 100%
absent, we all have reactivity that comes and goes. But I really suspect
that it applies very little to Deb in this case and in her posts here —
even though I have no hesitation to suggest to Deb that she can come
across that way. I think avoiding that impression is helpful, and I hope
she can consider your feedback for whatever utility it can bring her
*even though* I think you were far too bold in how strongly you asserted
your conclusions.

Respectfully,
Aaron

On 2021-03-26 10:08 p.m., Luke Kenneth Casson Leighton wrote:
>    On Saturday, March 27, 2021,
>    <[1]libreplanet-discuss-request@libreplanet.org> wrote:
> 
>      From: Deb Nicholson <[2]deb@eximiousproductions.com>
>      Well, it's disappointing but not surprising that a call for
>      improving the
>      way people are treated within the free software movement is being
>      seen by
>      some on this list as "hateful" or somehow in "opposition to free
>      software."
>      I honestly don't see how creating a haven for sexist behavior and
>      disrespect can lead to the movement's growth, but maybe I'm mistaken
>      in
>      thinking that we all want that growth.
> 
>    Deb: this response is resigned self-victimisation and conflation of
>    unrelated points rolled into one.
> 
>    it is a sufficiently well recognised behavioural pattern as part of
>    conflict that CRNHQ has a special section on it, "Cooperative Power"
> 
>     [3]https://www.crnhq.org/cr-kit/
> 
>    Can I recommend that you read that for insights because whilst it is
>    clear that, like all of us here, you seek to further Software Freedom,
>    you are engaging in "Victim" patterns that are causing division amongst
>    your peers, rather than creating the collaborative and welcoming
>    environment that you and all here would clearly love to see.
> 
>    I trust that you will give this some thought and due attention for
>    future interactions with others who share the same Software Freedom
>    goals.
> 
>    Much respect,
> 
>    l.
> 
>    --
>    ---
>    crowd-funded eco-conscious hardware:
>    [4]https://www.crowdsupply.com/eoma68
> 
> References
> 
>    1. mailto:libreplanet-discuss-request@libreplanet.org
>    2. mailto:deb@eximiousproductions.com
>    3. https://www.crnhq.org/cr-kit/
>    4. https://www.crowdsupply.com/eoma68
> 
> 
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